Survive a Snow Storm or Everyone Who Lives In New England Can Skip This Post

Readers I have been remiss. What can I say for myself other than “I was busy getting my holiday swerve on”? How about I promise to never use the word “swerve” in a manner that does not pertain to turning my car again…deal?

Now that all is forgiven, holy lord did it snow something fierce in the Northeast for the last couple of days.

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My life 24 hours ago

SO because I have heard that one of those Almanacs out there says it’s supposed to be a hard winter (along with nostra-whats-his-face’s predictions and my uncle who is a farmer) and because a childhood in New England coupled with four years in a mountain college in New Hampshire makes me dually qualified on the subject, I submit to you this guide for surviving a snow storm. (The word “surviving” here having the meaning “avoid death by boredom while stuck in your house for 24+ hours”)

1. Plug Stuff In
It will be windy, there will be heavy snow on power lines, maybe you lose power maybe you don’t, but if you don’t plug things in (your laptop, tablet, phone anything you need to be charged) you will be damn sorry when you have nothing to do but stare at a blank TV screen by candle light.

2. Prepare (sort of)
Look I’ve been through enough storms to know that they generally do not live up to the hype. I’m not saying you need to stock up your house like you’re auditioning to be on Doomsday Preppers, I’m just saying it will be no fun hungry times when you open the cabinet and realize you are low on pop tarts. It will be even less fun sober time when you realize you do not have wine, a mimosa-less snow day is what snowpocalypse really means. Make sure you have some basics (food, candles, matches, booze) because you won’t be leaving your house for a while.

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Pictured above: accurate forecasting

3. Deal With The Snow Now
There is a real temptation to huddle under a blanket and binge watch the Law and Order marathon and tell yourself it doesn’t make sense to do any shoveling before the snow stops. DON”T WAIT. If you wait you will be dealing with a heavy, wet, frozen nightmare monster of a situation. I get it, that wind chill is a real bitch and that SVU rabbit hole has enough pull to attract it’s own moon (that’s a gravity joke, boom!). But take an hour and go uncover your car, your future self will thank you in the morning while they laugh at everyone else dealing with three inches of compacted ice on their windshield.
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Yay responsibilities!

4. Have The Best Neighbors
My neighbors made me vanilla french toast when I showed up cold and damp at 11 a.m. because I had no coffee (I hadn’t prepared, see what happens kids?!). Listen, I hate people also but it behooves you to get to know your neighbors a little bit because when you are snowed in and ill-prepared they are quite literally all you have. Especially if they have a generator capable of powering a fridge and a flat screen. Make sure you keep these people on your obligatory friendly pleasantries rotation.

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My neighbors are better than your neighbors

Stay warm dear readers and have a wintry cocktail for me!

-Audrey

Is It Just Me Or Does “Hot Toddy” Sound A Little Risque

Hi Readers.

Tonight I am happily cocooned in a blanket watching the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead (so I’m basically super emotional after the trauma AMC just put me through) and sipping on a delicious hot toddy. I’ve decided that this winter is going to be a Whiskey Winter and whiskey means the wonderful world of the hot toddy (for real, the more I write it the more it sounds slightly inappropriate).

But seriously people there is drinking on the line so lets skip all this foolishness and get down to business!

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This looks like so many ingredients

1 shot whiskey

honey, cinnamon, nutmeg to taste

tea

squeeze of lemon juice

apple cider

hot water

Instructions
You can play a little fast and loose with this recipe and adjust it to your own taste, I’m just here to provide a steady hand of guidance (steady here meaning buzzed on hot toddies….oh god it’s even worse pluralized).  SO to start I drizzle about a teaspoon or so of honey into the bottom of a mug followed by a sprinkling of nutmeg and cinnamon and a squeeze of lemon juice. If you are fancy enough to have an actual lemon on hand I would use about a quarter of a lemon but if you are like me and you are pretending that a bottle of lemon juice is the same thing as a fresh lemon, a quick squeeze (roughly a teaspoon) will do it.

Fill your mug about three quarters of the way up with boiling water and stir. Add a tea bag (NOT the inappropriate kind cause gross). I would recommend some kind of breakfast tea like earl grey OR  you can do what I did and use the free oolong that comes with your Chinese take out that you’ve never had a use for until this moment. Let that steep for a few minutes (the tea, not my sage words of drinking wisdom).

Heat up a splash (about two ounces) of apple cider and add that and the whiskey to the tea.

Finally drink up! You have earned it, that is a lot of steps and work for a cocktail. I mean you had to turn on the stove and everything, I’m sorry I put you through that. But all your hard work is certainly worth the reward.

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(this is the reward)

I garnished mine with an apple slice so it would look fancy in this blog post and I took a really close up photo so you can’t see how messy the rest of my kitchen is, hooray!

Happy Whiskey Winter readers! Have a hot toddy for me!

-Audrey